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Fic: Elizabeth - Chapter 3 (1/3)
Chapter 3 - Part 1

The next few days after everyone leaves are filled with work for Adam and Tommy. Adam is busy recording and Tommy gets back to working with Mike. Mike's still giving him “the look,” but he tries to ignore it. Tommy asks how Liz is doing and he thinks Mike is too good to him because he isn't mad about how things ended between him and Liz. He sees that Mike is worried about her, but there is nothing more he can do.

Mid-week Marco comes for a visit and brings them all of the finished photos. There is everything they had hoped for, and after Marco leaves, they are going through them when suddenly Tommy gets up and leaves the living room. Adam turns his head in Tommy's direction, surprised, and asks, “Where are you going?”

Tommy is already on the staircase, and shouts a reply. “Wait a second and you will see.”

Adam keeps looking at the pictures and once again, thinks about how good they look together. The sound of Tommy walking down the stairs pulls him back from his thoughts. He sees that Tommy is carrying a relatively wide, but narrow box. Tommy sets it on the coffee table, gently pushing the photos to the side. “I hope you like it. I know we haven't talked about it, but I saw this and loved it, so I bought it.”

When Adam just stares, Tommy smiles. “Go on, open it.”

Adam sinks to the floor on his knees, and opens the box. His breath hitches when he sees that inside the box is beautiful photo album covered in black leather (hopefully fake, Adam thinks) with a large label that says “Our Family” with silver ornamentation. Adam stares at it, completely speechless. When he looks up at Tommy, he has tears in his eyes, but they're happy tears.

Tommy reaches out to wipe the tears from his face, smiling. “I'll take that as the album being approved, and we can put all the pictures in it. Now, I know you have pictures of Elizabeth in another album, so should we just put the pictures from this weekend in here?”

Adam finally finds his voice again. “No. this album is absolutely beautiful, so we'll mix them together. Stay here, I'll run upstairs and grab the old album.” Adam stands up and heads for the stairs, when he realizes something. “Where did you hide it, by the way?”

Tommy just laughs. “Under our bed.”
Adam looks surprised at that answer “Under our bed? Really? I'm sure I was cleaning under there,” and Tommy has to laugh, because yes, Adam was cleaning under their bed, but he wasn't doing it thoroughly.

“Next time, don't forget to check my pile of clothes under the bed. It was hidden under there!”

Adam has to smile at that because his cleaning skills probably need some improvement. “Okay. I will, but next time I'll clean, you're going to help.”

Adam leaves to bring Elizabeth's album down. When he's back, they both sit on the floor, legs crossed, discussing which photo will go where. Tommy is mesmerized by Adam's stories about Elizabeth; how Adam can make changing smelly diapers sound like a fun adventure he just doesn't understand, because while he loves Bridget to death, changing her diapers was never fun – for him anyway.

While they are talking and sorting pictures, they order in some good food and while enjoying it, Adam's phone rings. He excuses himself to pick it up while they're eating. Tommy continues to eat, not really paying attention, hearing mostly “Yes, yes and yes” as his mind wanders someplace else. He's brought back to reality by Adam's hand on his shoulder. When he realizes that he zoned out, he rushes to apologize and ask who was on the phone.

Adam looks really nervous when he starts to explain. “It was Jane, my social worker. She said if we have time tomorrow we can come to see her and Amy with Elizabeth. And because I know we're both free, I said we'd come. I hope you're okay with that, I mean that I 'didn't talk to you before I said yes, but she was excited that I'll finally bring you with me.”

Tommy sees how nervous Adam is, so he hurries to calm him down. “Adam, relax. It doesn't matter that you ' didn't tell me. We'll go there tomorrow and set things straight. We're almost finished the album so I think we're ready for the first battle. Now sit down and finish our …what is it anyway? Too late for lunch and too early for dinner?”

Adam smiles. “We can call it linner.”

Tommy smiles again because Adam has an answer for everything “So, finish your linner and tell me everything I need to know, about Jane and Amy and where we're going tomorrow. You never really told me which hospital she's in.”

Adam looks sad while answering, because he knows full well that if everything goes well and he becomes a father to Elizabeth, it will be on the day her mother' passes away. “She's not staying in a hospital, not really. She's in this institution, just outside the center of LA. It's private and they're discreet. She has her own space and her own nurses that take care of her and Elizabeth. It looks more like a small apartment than a hospital. There is a huge garden with lots of trees and flowers. I ….” Adam takes a deep breath and Tommy can see it's hard for him to talk about it so he takes his hand and squeezes it tightly, to encourage him.

Adam smiles at him and continues “… I wanted something nice for her, you know? We both know how this is going to end. The nurses there love her like a daughter and she's really grateful because her family abandoned her. It's sad, but at least she knows we will love her baby girl and she can go in peace.”

“She will be in the best hands,” Tommy says. He tries lighten the mood because Adam is sad again and he really doesn't like it, so he asks, “So, you're saying that the nurses are great?”

Adam smiles and he's not pretending he doesn't know Tommy is trying to change the subject but gets why he's doing it so he just goes with it. “Oh yeah. They're really awesome. Caring and loving with amazing senses of humor; they don't really care who I am. They love me because I love their girls.”

Tommy thinks about it for a second. “You think they'll like me too?”

Adam is not in hurry to answer and Tommy can see a slight blush on his cheeks. “What now? You're blushing again,” Tommy says with wide smile. “I… they kinda know you already …”

“How can they know me…?” Tommy asks, confused.

“I may have talked about you a bit ….”

“A bit?” Tommy asks in disbelief, but amused at the thought that Adam's “a bit” might be more than that, and sure enough, he's right.

“Well yeah, okay, more than a bit. I told them how caring and loving you are. How great you are with Bridget …” and when Tommy wants to say something Adam doesn't let him, holding his hands up in defense and continues. “But I also told them that you are a badass guitar player who loves horror movies. Please tell me you're not mad?”

Adam looks guilty so Tommy pretends to think about it for a second and then says with fake seriousness, “Hmmmm” but he can't keep a serious face for long so he smiles. “Okay, rockstar. I'm not mad but you owe me anyway. So now you'll let me watch the aforementioned horror movie, and later on you'll fix our dinner.”

“Oh my God, okay!!” Adam says with laughter. “You so love to torture me with those scary movies of yours, but fair warning. You are going to have to comfort me!”

Tommy just throws his arm around Adam's shoulder. “I can do that, no worries, gorgeous. Now get your ass up on that couch of yours. I'm not going to watch sitting on the floor.”

Adam blushes when Tommy calls him gorgeous, but luckily Tommy doesn't notice so Adam sits on the couch and lifts Tommy up like he weighs nothing.

Tommy yelps in surprise, not really expecting it. “Warn a guy, okay?” But the second he's up, he reaches out for his favorite movies and shows them to Adam “Michael, Freddie, Dracula or Megan?”

“I don't care. You pick. I'll be scared anyway,” Adam says. Tommy gets up and puts the DVD into the player, looking like a child, smiling widely. “Freddie.”

He gets back on couch and soon after the movie starts, Adam is curled up to Tommy, hiding his face in Tommy's chest more than he's watching the movie.

After the movie ends, Tommy demands another one. Adam is not really complaining because he likes how relaxed Tommy is and if he's being honest with himself, this time seems very peaceful for him too, like no worries exist in the whole world. After the Exorcist is over Tommy help Adam make them dinner and Adam even shyly asks Tommy if can have one or two fries. It makes Tommy smile proudly because he managed to break Adam's healthy food obsession, even if just a little.

Later, in their bed, Tommy tells Adam he's afraid that Amy or Jane will not like him, but at the same time excited he's going to meet Elizabeth for the first time. Adam just holds him and tells him it's okay to be nervous and assures him that everything is going to be fine.

Adam wakes up the next morning with Tommy huddled in his arms, his head resting on his chest, fringe covering his face; Adam thinks it must tickle. He caresses Tommy's sleeping face gently, smiling lovingly at him. He can't miss 'how Tommy's top rolled up, and he can't tear his eyes from his slender body. Adam's eyes wander down from his chest to his belly and lower to his ….

When Adam realizes what he's doing he half curses and half laughs at himself. He thinks Tommy would think 'what he's doing is creepy. He shakes his head and starts fondling Tommy's bare arm with more strength, waiting for Tommy to wake up. After a moment Tommy slowly opens his eyes, smiles widely at Adam and starts stretching. He accidentally hits Adam's shoulder while doing it. Adam shoots him a fake hurt look, but giggles involuntarily. Tommy giggles back and presses a quick kiss to Adam's shoulder.

Adam smiles at him and ruffles his hair and suddenly Tommy starts blushing and Adam kind of doesn't understand why. “What? Why are you blushing?”

Tommy doesn't look at him, answering shyly, “I want …… I'd like to do one thing. Can I?”

Adam can't find his voice so he only nods, doesn't know what to expect. Tommy takes a deep breath and reaches for Adam, stops just inches from his face, and breathes again. Adam is watching him the whole time and his pupils grow wide when Tommy closes the last tiny distance and gives Adam a sweet and short, but firm kiss, whispering “Good morning.”

When Adam gets over the initial shock, he asks breathlessly, “You wanted to do it just today?”

Tommy blushes some more but answers “Not just today. I just … I… I got used to sleeping with you and waking up with you. I sleep better when I'm with you for some reason and I just thought a morning kiss would be like a thank you or something like that. If you don't want to or if you think it's over the line or inappropriate just tell me and we can act like this never happened.”

Tommy's babbling and Adam has to smile at that. He silences Tommy with a short but firm kiss, smiling the whole time, giving Tommy his answer that way. “Good morning to you too. I like it, but if you change your mind or don't feel like it, you'll tell me, okay?”

Tommy relaxes visibly and laughs. “Yeah, yeah. Now get your ass off the bed. I believe we have a date with one beautiful girl,” and with that he jumps off the bed, gently slapping Adam's shoulder. Adam laughs at Tommy's childish behavior, and they both head for the bathroom.

They have fun poking each other while brushing their teeth, and then it's time to shower. Tommy jokingly suggests showering together to save time and Adam almost chokes in response. Adam jokingly accuses him of wanting to see his ass naked, and that saving time has nothing to do with it. Tommy laughs and runs his hand across Adam's ass flirtatiously. When he sees that Adam is left speechless, he smacks Adam's ass playfully. “What? Can't take a little harmless flirting?” With that Tommy leaves the bathroom to take his shower in the guest room, leaving thunderstruck Adam behind.

When Adam gets over the shock, he heads into his shower and thinks that this “harmless flirting” as Tommy called it may be the death of him. He is up for it, he knows he is, because Tommy has always been open-minded and loves flirting and he might be feeling lonely so why deny himself some fun, but at the same time he knows he has to be careful; he can't fall for Tommy because Tommy can't love him the same way so he hopes he won't end up hurt – not badly anyway. Because even if he's not ready to admit it yet, the feelings he has for Tommy lie deep in his heart.

In the guest bathroom, Tommy thinks about what he just did and why he did it. Maybe it was because he wanted to see Adam speechless; or maybe that's just an excuse. Tommy doesn't want to think about it, not really because he's more than a little scared of the result of thinking that could mean, and for now, he'll just enjoy Adam's company. Today he's meeting Elizabeth for the first time and he is going to have to play for real for the first time and he's determined to be the best fiancé he can be. As he' dries himself off he thinks about how 'hard it's going to be. He knows Adam sees him as a friend only, and he will have to leave Adam's personal life at some point. So he hopes, again and again, that he won't end up hurt. Not badly anyway, because even if he's not ready to admit it yet, the feelings he has for Adam lie deep in his heart.

After they're showered and dressed, they try to enjoy some breakfast, but Tommy starts to get really nervous and for the first time in a while, it's Adam who's calming Tommy down and not the other way around. 'He isn't quite successful, and Tommy is pacing their kitchen, his hands visibly shaking. He drops his coffee mug and when he rapidly starts to apologize and tries to clean up the mess he almost slips on the spilled liquid.

Adam can't believe his eyes as his always calm Tommy is now a pile of nerves, so he decides to try things a different way. He steps right into Tommy's personal space, takes him by his hands tightly, holds him in place. “Tommy stop, please stop! Why are you so nervous? You are literally freaking out. What's going on?”

Tommy tries to get out of Adam's hold but he's not letting him. “You are not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong with you.”

Tommy tries to avoid Adam's face, tries to not look at him at all. “But the coffee, I have to …”

Adam interrupts him. “We can clean that up later. You were okay just an hour ago so spill! What changed?”

Tommy finally gives up. “It's just... we're going to be together for the first time in public and I'm scared, okay. I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up for you. You know what's at stake. Elizabeth.”

Adam steps even closer and embraces him. “You will not fuck it up, we will be okay.”

Tommy still hides his face in Adam's chest when asking, “How can you know that?”

Adam smiles and strokes Tommy's back gently. “Let me ask you. Do you love me?”

Tommy looks up at him surprised, his eyes wide, because... does he? He thinks he may, but is he brave enough to say it out loud? “Adam, I…”

Adam senses his discomfort and hurries to reassure him. “It's okay baby. I know you can't love me that way …” And suddenly while talking he wonders if it's really okay, and who he's really trying to reassure, but he continues, tries to not to show what he's thinking “…but you are my friend, my best friend. You stood by me from the beginning and you got me through these last few rough months, so you love me, right?”

Even though he knows Adam sees him as a friend, it still hurts to hear; but as with many times before, Tommy reminds himself not to be selfish, because this is not about him, so he puts on a smile. “I do love you.”

Adam smiles back, still stroking Tommy's back “Then everything is going to be okay. Just be yourself. We don't have to really pretend, do we?”

“No we don't,” Tommy says because no matter what, it's true.

Adam finally lets him out of his hold. “So are you okay?”

Tommy nods and smiles. “I am. Thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me. You do, however, have to help me clean up this mess, so come on.”

After that their morning is less stressful. They clean the spilled coffee and eat some breakfast (finally) and after breakfast they head out for the clinic where Amy and Elizabeth await.

On the way, Tommy brings up the fact that they've been lucky so far that no one has found out that something is going on between them, and that they will have to talk about what they plan to say and how they will come out as a couple. It´ll be for world to see. For Jane and Amy to see that their relationship is real. Next step in Tommy´s plan, a big one.

Adam agrees, but says they will talk about it later because right now he is way too nervous. When Tommy asks him why he's nervous, Adam says that he doesn't really know, but probably for the same reasons Tommy was nervous earlier. Tommy laughs at that. He shakes his head and just covers Adam's hand that is resting on gearshift. Adam squeezes his hand and laughs too.

The rest of their ride is peaceful, even though they get stuck in a traffic jam, but that really doesn't matter because While Adam is driving, he's singing along with the radio and Tommy enjoys it while keeping his eyes closed, the wind from the open window ruffling his hair, and the sun warming his face. Even though his eyes are closed, he knows Adam is smiling.

When they arrive at the hospital, Adam parks their car and they both get out. Suddenly Tommy starts to feel nervous again. Adam just smiles at him encouragingly and takes his hand in his own, squeezing it tightly.

“Are you ready?” Even though Adam doesn't show his nervousness on his face, Tommy can hear it in Adam's voice as it trembles.

“Are you?”

They both nod at the same time and that makes them laugh. It makes some of the nervousness disappear. They both look at their joined hands and Adam lightly rubs the engagement ring Tommy hasn't taken off since Adam put it on his ring finger. Adam leans down and kisses Tommy's temple, gently whispering, “We're ready, let's go baby,” and with that they're heading towards the main entrance.

As they get closer they passing by a large garden and Tommy can't even see everything. But he does see trees and flowers, and many benches and tables with chairs. Tommy can really understand why Adam chose this place. It's a sanctuary and it's quiet and peaceful. Only the presence of patients and nurses reveals the real purpose of it. Tommy stops in his tracks and looks at Adam. “Now I understand why you chose this place. It doesn't look like a hospital and it's so peaceful here.”

Adam smiles because he can't agree more. “I know, right? They are both in good hands here. Now let's go. We have an important meeting.”

Tommy nods, and in a few more yards, they reach the main door that leads to the reception area. Still hand in hand, they step into the reception space. Adam takes a quick glance around, and spots the main nurse Gladys right away.

Tommy remembers Adam talking about her; a very lovely and loving lady in her 50s. With an encouraging squeeze of Tommy’s hand, Adam leads them over to the reception desk. Gladys spots them when she takes her eyes of her computer screen and immediately smiles widely at Adam.

“Adam dear. What are you doing here?” As she greets him she lays her eyes on him, then on Tommy, and finally on their clasped hands. Adam can see the realization hit her as her eyes go wide, and her smile gets even wider; but at the same time her expression is somehow tender. “Adam, wow. Is this beautiful young man who I think he is?”

Adam sneaks a quick glance over at Tommy and sees him blushing at the compliment. He grabs Tommy around his shoulder, playfully kissing his ear. Now it’s Gladys’s turn to blush but she’s still smiling at them when Adam introduces them.

“Yes. Yes, he is. Gladys, this is my beloved fiancé, Tommy. Tommy, this is Gladys. She takes care of our girls.”

Tommy holds out his hand and shakes hands with Gladys. “Nice to finally meet you, Gladys.” All of the stress finally leaves his body as he sees that here, everyone is friendly and he can clearly feel that no one wants to hurt him, so he smiles, still a little shyly. “I’ve heard only good things about you.”

Gladys smiles back and shakes his hand “Nice to finally meet you. I heard lot about you too,” she says and can’t miss how, when Tommy takes his hand back Adam automatically put his hand around Tommy’s waist and their fingers lace together immediately. “I’m so happy you finally decided to meet your little girl. Adam was always sad when you couldn’t come.”

When Adam takes a breath to say something she just continues, ignoring him completely. “He thinks he’s a good actor but he can’t fool me. There was always something missing behind his smile and judging by his smile now, it was you.”

Tommy squeezes Adam’s fingers before answering, because Adam seems to be left speechless at how observant Gladys is and that she never said anything to him.

“I’m happy too. I realized that it was time to come, to stop hurting my man with my insecurities and man up so here I am.”

Gladys looks like an overjoyed mother but she gets a bit serious at the same time. “Yes, about that. Jane had to leave about an hour or so ago; got call from judge for a different adoption…”

Adam cuts her off, surprised. “What? You mean she’s gone? We’re here to meet her together. Tommy is here to meet our daugh… girl for the first time.” He looks at Tommy and suddenly he has to fight tears pooling in his eyes. “I wanted you to meet our baby girl, you were supposed to meet her. I’m sorry baby, so sorry.”

Tommy moves fast and hugs Adam tight. “It’s okay baby, it’s not your fault. We will come another day. Calm down.”

Gladys finally interrupts them, clearing her throat. “Adam dear you got me wrong. There is no reason for you two not to see Elizabeth today.”

When Adam looks at her she can see the relief on his face. “Really?”

Gladys just nods. “Jane said you can see her, so go. Take you fiancé to your daughter.”

“She’s not …,” Adam starts but Gladys just shakes her head.

“Not yet, now go” Adam smiles and Tommy sees not just a smile but the glow that’s surrounding Adam as he leads Tommy to the area where rooms and other private spaces are located.

Adam and Tommy walk down a long hallway until they reach a smaller reception area that looks more like nurses station, and it finally hits Tommy that they are, indeed, in a hospital – like a facility. And as they’re approaching, the young nurse greets Adam right away. “Welcome back, Mr. Lam …” she’s not allowed to finish as he looks at her, raising his eyebrow. She blushes but corrects herself “Welcome back, Adam.”

She gives Tommy a quick once-over, curiosity written all over her face. “Is this …?”

Adam laughs and pulls Tommy into his arms. “Yes, this is my fiancé, Tommy…”

She looks more shocked than surprised. “Tommy Joe, I know. I mean… I didn’t know your fiancé was…”

“My guitarist?” Adam finishes, looking down at Tommy. He can see that Tommy is hiding his face, not sure if he’s blushing again or if he’s laughing at how confused she is. “Now you know. But it’s still our secret, so you have to promise me not to talk about it.”

She nods immediately to reassure him. “Oh don’t worry Adam. I promised that when we first met.”

Adam answers her right away. “I know. We will be going, Amy is waiting for us.” She just nods and waves.

Adam leads Tommy to the first door on the left at the end of the hallway. There is a plate with Amy’s name on it. The whole wall appears to be made from glass, Tommy thinks, so the personnel can see inside, but patients can’t see out, giving the illusion of more privacy.

Adam knocks gently, and after a quiet “come in” they step inside. Tommy can see that the space is divided into a few smaller rooms. One of them looks like a living room/bedroom, while another like a bathroom, and the last one is a small room full of medical stuff. Adam looks around just in time to see Amy’s personal nurse coming out of the living room.

“Hey Katherine; we’re here to see Amy and Elizabeth.”

“Hey Adam,” the young woman replies. She sounds, in Tommy’s opinion, a little bit unnerved.

“Amy’s not here. She had to leave for a last-minute examination.”

“Really?” Tommy asks suspiciously.

Katherine looks at him, finally registering his presence. “Yes. And you are?”

Adam smiles at Tommy, taking him by his hand again. “This is Tommy, my fiancé.”

Katherine’s face lights up. “Your fiancé? Finally! I can’t believe you are really here. We kind of thought we were never going to meet you.”

Katherine is babbling and blushing at the same time. Tommy is happy that finally he’s not the only one feeling uncomfortable so he takes pity on her, smiles at her, and stretches out his hand to shake hers

“Nice to meet you too. So when Amy’s not here, I can’t meet Elizabeth, right?” He sounds sad and when he’s looking at Adam, his eyes are sad too.

But Katherine says tenderly, “No you can go see her.”

Adam looks very surprised. “But I’ve never been allowed to be with her without supervision.” It seems Katherine has an answer for everything “Amy said you could be here alone, and I will be just outside your door anyway. I’ll leave you now,” With that, she leaves.

When she’s gone, Adam takes Tommy by the hand, leading him to the bedroom area. The first thing Tommy sees is the hospital bed, that he believes to be Amy’s, and then something else catches his eye. “Adam, they have cameras here?”

Adam doesn’t sound surprised at all. “Yes. They are installed everywhere, but they only work if the patient agrees. It helps the staff keep an eye on the patients, mainly during the night or after procedures. Amy and I agreed to this, so they are working. It’s video only though, some privacy is still needed.” As Adam is explaining, he suddenly stops walking, and Tommy bumps into his back.

“What the…” Tommy is about to finish with something off-color, but he remembers where he is and gets quiet. When he peeks from behind Adam he can see a crib right in front of them. Adam just stares, and in his eyes Tommy can see so much tenderness his heart swells with love.

“Every time I see her, I just feel like my universe is complete. Like I’d do anything for her.” Adam is talking, looking lost in his own world and he reaches out his hand, softly caressing the baby in the crib. Tommy could move forward and take a look, but he wants Adam to introduce them, and tell him what’s on his mind.

“Every time I came here, all I could think about was how much I love her and how much I don’t want to lose her… how much…. How much I wanted to have someone to share that love with me.”

Tommy can hear the shaking in his voice, hears the silent, previously unshed tears and the hurt of a betrayal he must have felt. To be left alone, getting ready to start a family by himself instead of with the one he loves. He spins Adam around and hugs him tightly, gently rubbing his back.

“I’m here now. You have me. You have me,” he repeats.

Adam watches him with blue eyes full of tears and suddenly he closes the distance between them to rest their foreheads together; then slowly and sweetly he kisses Tommy on the lips, not pushing, giving him a way out, but Tommy doesn’t want a way out, so he licks Adam’s lips with his tongue. Adam opens up for him and Tommy licks his way into the warmth of Adam’s mouth. When Adam finally wants to take over the kiss, they hear a quiet sound that breaks the moment.

They are both breathing heavily and Tommy is blushing again. Adam kisses Tommy’s forehead, whispering to him, “Thank you, for being here for us.”

Tommy can feel his heart race as he whispers back, “Anytime and always.”

Adam smiles and lifts Tommy’s chin so he can look him in the eye and give him just a quick peck on the lips. “Come, come meet my angel.”

He takes Tommy and pushes him forward, and finally Tommy sees Elizabeth for the first time. Sure, he saw her in the pictures, but in reality she’s much much prettier that he would have ever expected. She literally takes his breath away. She’s little and precious and he can’t resist and has to gently stroke her cheeks. She was sleeping before, but now she’s looking at him and he swears she has the most beautiful emerald eyes he’s ever seen. When he catches his breath, he turns around to see Adam watching him, smiling

“Oh my God Adam, she’s so beautiful. So precious and small and perfect and beautiful. How could someone not love her? You can’t ever tell anyone but she’s more beautiful than Bridget, and I was head over heels for her, you know that.”

Adam keeps smiling because, yeah, he knows that. “She is precious isn’t she?” he says, gently rubbing her little chest. Rubbing wasn’t enough because Elizabeth spits her pacifier and starts to sob. Immediately, Adam carefully picks her up, scoops her in his arms, sways and silently whispers, “Shhh, shhh baby, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

Tommy is mesmerized, so he takes his phone, snaps a few pictures and starts recording. Adam realizes what Tommy is doing so he turns to face the camera, constantly talking to Elizabeth, shushing her and kissing her head.

Tommy keeps recording while speaking quietly. “Say hi to daddy.”

Adam looks straight into the camera as a sweet smile plays on his lips. He waves to the camera and sends Tommy a kiss. “Hi daddy!”

Tommy catches the kiss and presses it to his own lips. He shuts the camera off and sticks the cell in to his pocket. Elizabeth isn’t calming down much so Adam takes her to the changing table. “It’s either a dirty diaper, or she’s hungry. You want to check?”

Tommy makes a funny face so Adam goes for it and undoes Elizabeth’s diaper. “Okay,” he laughs when Tommy covers his nose, pretending to be fainting “I’ll change her and you go get her food, it’s in the medic room.”

Tommy leaves, thinking about how amazing all of this is. How happy Adam is (Tommy too) and how easily Elizabeth charmed him. When he gets to the medical room, Elizabeth’s formula is ready in a bottle with a message from Katherine: “I thought this might come in handy.” He shakes his head and heads back to the living area.

Adam takes the bottle from him but then hesitates. Tommy raises an eyebrow in surprise, but then Adam asks if he wants to feed her. When Tommy says that yes, Adam urges him into the rocking chair, tenderly putting Elizabeth into his arms. “You have to support her head and hold her tightly, but not too tight, okay?”

Tommy laughs quietly, shushing Adam, because he has taken care of Bridget before. Adam blushes and apologizes, but Tommy tells him he understands. He sees and feels how much Adam loves the tiny little girl, nesting in his arms, waiting to be fed. He starts to feed her the bottle and watches, mesmerized, at how she’s focused on the bottle. Adam watches them, his heart melting at the sight of Tommy with Elizabeth in his arms; now it’s his turn to take a video and some pictures.

Tommy realizes he’s being recorded at the end of Elizabeth’s meal. He looks directly into Adam’s eyes and orders, “Put the camera down daddy, and get us a bib, we’re done here.”

“Aye aye, boss,” Adam says with laughter in his voice. He is back in a second, putting the bib on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy shifts Elizabeth so she’s resting on his shoulder, waiting for her to burp. Adam asks Tommy to get up and when he does, he sits down, pulling Tommy to sit in his lap with Elizabeth in his arms. When they’re settled he embraces them both, holding them as tight as he can. They take a few pictures together with their daughter and then, after she's burped, it’s time to put her down for a nap.

They settle her down and after a short time full of rubbing and quiet singing, Elizabeth falls asleep. Adam pulls Tommy back into his lap as he sits back into the rocking chair and they are resting and watching her just like that. Tommy uses Adam's chest as a pillow while they hold each other. When Katherine comes back, she finds them asleep in the same position they were in watching Elizabeth. She takes her phone out and snaps some pictures, whispering to herself, “For Amy,” then puts the phone back in her pocket.

She gently shakes them awake. They are both confused, but she tells them that it’s okay, and that they were napping only short time but their visit will be over soon. They forgot to unpack some presents for Elizabeth and Amy so they just leave one bag for Amy to open. They both kiss Elizabeth goodbye and ask Katherine to pass their greetings on to Amy and they head out. They say goodbye to Gladys at the main reception desk and head towards Adam’s car.

When they’re gone, out of the blue Amy appears in her room, watching Elizabeth sleep peacefully. Katherine comes up behind Amy, helping her sit down in the rocking chair Adam and Tommy were resting in just minutes before. “Did you see? Did you find the answers you were looking for?”

Amy can’t miss the slight accusation in Elizabeth’s voice. “Don’t be mad at me. Don’t judge me. Please Katherine. I know you didn’t approve of me to spying on them like that, but I had to be sure. When I’m here, they can put on a show and be the cutest couple ever, but unchaperoned, they had no idea and yes, I got my answers. You saw them together. They love each other so much. What more could I possibly want for my daughter?”

Katherine sees the tears in Amy’s eyes and hurries to her side. “I’m not mad, or judging you. I didn’t approve but you were right. What are you going to do now? Talk to Jane about it?”

Amy answers, a sad smile on her face. “That, yes, but there is one thing I have to do first. Could you go to my desk and bring me the papers?”

If Katherine is surprised, she doesn’t let Amy know. She goes to her desk and brings back the adoption papers. She holds them out to Amy and she signs them. “Jane will have to talk to judge soon to seal the deal, but I know I made the right choice. My baby will be in the best possible hands.”

Katherine smiles at her and picks up her ringing phone, listens for a moment, and hangs up shortly after the one-sided conversation starts. “Jane is here, if you want to talk to her. Oh, and I got you this,” she says, smiling, sending Amy a message with the pictures of Adam and Tommy sleeping, and with that, she heads out, leaving Amy alone with her thoughts.

On their way home Tommy is oddly quiet, but Adam doesn’t want to intrude on his privacy so he just holds his hand. When they get home, Tommy cracks, tears running down his cheeks. He cradles his head in his palms and tries to calm down. Adam leans down toward him, stroking his hair gently, trying to help him calm down without words. After a short time Tommy wipes his eyes, apologizing. Adam doesn’t need him to apologize, but he gently asks, “Can you tell me what’s wrong? What happened? I thought you liked today’s visit.”

Tommy blushes crimson because he knows he owes Adam an explanation. “I liked it, very much. It’s just, Adam, she is so precious and beautiful and I fell in love with her immediately; but it made me realize that to get her to be our daughter, her mom has to die first and I’m not sure how I'll cope with that once when she’s gone, when just the idea of it broke me like this. I guess it was just a lot to take in, I don’t know.”

Adam understands very well because he had to deal with it too. “It’s okay baby. It really is. When it first really hit me, I cried for a week every time I just looked at Elizabeth’s picture. But you have to look at it this way: her mom wants her to be in the best possible hands, so if she sees it in us, we should be proud. Now what do you say we take a shower, make some food together, and then we call it an early night and watch some TV?”

Tommy relaxes after the emotional roller coaster he just rode on. Adam gets up and helps Tommy to his feet. They take separate showers and they make food for each other. During their meal they talk about their day and Elizabeth and the visit. They show the pics and videos to each other over and over again and Adam feels as happy as ever. Even though he knows he's living on borrowed time he feels that fake or not, it seems pretty damn real to him.

When they get to bed, curled up next to each other, they put in Breaking Bad and watch it from the start. When Tommy realizes that Adam’s breathing is even, that he has fallen asleep, he turns the light off and the TV off as well. He lays his head on Adam’s chest and holds him as tight as he can without waking him up. In the dark night he feels bold so he tells Adam how he feels. “I love you, you know. Like love you, the way you could love me. Today’s visit made me realize that I can’t hide anymore. I want this all to be real and I will try to show you I love you. You and Elizabeth are the only things I need to complete my happiness. I know you don’t love me, but I will try to show you than I’m worth it. I will try to make you love me.” And as Tommy feels himself getting closer and closer to dreamland he whispers to Adam again, “I love you and maybe one day I will be strong enough to say it to you, when you are awake.” Before he falls asleep he feels one traitorous tear run down his cheek.

The next morning, after a mostly sleepless night, Adam gets up and moving early as they have lots of things to arrange so they can have a fun weekend. Tommy has a show with Ravi and Adam a charity event he really wants to attend. So the deal is Tommy is going shopping, will pick up their clothes and do some other errands, and Adam will finish as much as he can in the studio.

Adam gently shakes Tommy awake and the second Tommy opens his eyes Adam can see how tired he is. He kisses him gently, drawing a tired smile from Tommy “Good morning; you really didn’t sleep well did you? You didn’t even wake up while I was taking a shower and getting changed.”

Tommy doesn’t want to talk about why he couldn’t sleep, so he blames it on his insomnia. “I knew I wouldn't sleep like a baby every night. I guess my sleepless night are slowly returning. So I missed you changing. Damn.” He wants to sound sexy, but he yawns so wide it killed his attempt.

Adam ruffles his hair, giggling. “You really are cute. Now get up. We have a busy morning ahead!” With that he leaves their bedroom to prepare breakfast.

When Tommy gets to the kitchen, Adam has their meal almost ready and Tommy can’t do anything other than stare. There on the kitchen table is a breakfast prepared like in a hotel. Eggs and bacon and a few different salads. There are many different sliced fruits and three kinds of juice. Next to Adam’s plate is tea, already cooling and Adam is bringing Tommy’s coffee when he realizes Tommy is standing in the door, staring.

“Hey, come. Sit down and enjoy,” he says, gesturing towards Tommy’s chair. He holds it out so Tommy can sit and then tucks the chair in for him. Tommy is surprised; though, surprised is not the right word he’s stunned. He knows Adam is a caring person but this is too much even for him, so he has to ask, “So what’s the occasion?”

Adam tries to sound casual. “Nothing, just wanted to make you breakfast, because we both have a busy day and …” but Tommy can see him fidgeting.

“Adam. What have I told you about lying to me? You know I know you and I can tell when you’re trying to lie to me. So sit down and spill. What’s this about?” Tommy isn’t waiting for Adam to sit down across the table and starts putting food on his plate. Adam sets Tommy’s coffee down within Tommy’s reach and finally sits down, taking some salad and bacon

“I wanted to talk to you about something and I didn’t know how, so I thought…”

“So you thought you would bribe me with all this delicious food?” Tommy says jokingly with his mouth still full of eggs and bacon. He takes another fork full of salad and continues. “So what you wanted to talk about is so dangerous you have to bribe me … And by the way, it’s delicious.”

Adam smiles because Tommy always knows what to say to make him feel more comfortable. “I wanted to talk about what we started discussing in the car yesterday. About us coming out as a couple.”

“And why is it that bad? We both know the time is getting closer. Why is it that big deal?” Tommy sips his coffee.

“Because,” Adam says, leaving the table, looking out the window. “It’ll turn your life upside down. I know you’re not like me. You love the privacy you have and now you’re going to lose it. And there will be so many haters. I know most of the fans love you and will wish us well, but the haters can be so harsh. And I know you’re dealing with it every day but this will take it to a whole new level and I feel so guilty, so guilty.” Adam embraces himself like he wants to comfort himself. Tommy hears the sadness in his voice so he gets up to just take Adam in his arms.

He literally pleads with him, “Please, Adam, you have to stop this. I know what to expect and I’m ready for everything. So you have to stop blaming yourself. These feelings will kill you inside soon if you don't stop it. Try to enjoy our time together. Believe this all is a real and we will make it. We will overcome everything. Together.”

“Together,” Adam repeats and holds Tommy tight. “Do I get to treat you like my sappy self too?”

Tommy finally hears a smile in Adam’s voice. He may have said some things in selfishness, but he meant them. They can make it together and Adam has to stop feeling guilty. Tommy looks up and smiles. “You better be. Now come finish breakfast and tell me what you have in mind, because I’m sure you’ve already thought about it.”

Adam leads them back to the table and starts eating again, as does Tommy. “You know me so well, sometimes it scares me.”

Tommy nods with a smile, chewing on big piece of apple. He reaches out his hand and makes Adam take a bite. Adam takes a bite and somehow accidentally bites Tommy. Tommy yelps but laughs and Adam smiles innocently at him and continues, “Well I thought about where we could go for a dinner. I know a few restaurants where I’m sure when someone slightly famous makes a reservation they always call the paparazzi. We can enjoy dinner and afterwards, we will make Twitter explode.”

“What about our event on Sunday? That could gives us away too,” Tommy adds, but Adam just smiles.

“We won't comment on anything; let everyone think what they want, it’ll be fun and gives us some clues as to how people will react after our dinner. So what you think?”

Tommy just nods, looking at his cell phone “Sounds like a perfect plan. Now we have to get ready to start our day. Mike will pick me up soon and your driver should be here any minute.”

Adam looks surprised as they get up and leave the kitchen. “How do you know when my driver will pick me up?”

Chapter 3 - Part 2 here


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